Around the time I became a teenager, my favorite shows to watch were somewhat predictable for my age, but there were a few outliers. I enjoyed the young adult cartoons like Dragon Ball Z like any other young lad, but I also started to really enjoy just putting Food Network on in the background while I did something else. Perhaps all my teenage years of listening to recipes, while I worked on homework, seeped into my brain through osmosis since I now consider myself a decent cook in my home. However, there was one show that was on Food Network that was too frantic and unique to simply put on as background noise. I needed to see what was being done to understand how the people coming up with their recipes would decide on such bizarre flavors and techniques. Of course, I’m talking about Iron Chef.

In all honesty, Iron Chef was probably the show that turned me onto the Food Network in the first place. The dubbed-over voices of the Japanese commentators brought back the sense of watching old Godzilla movies once more, as I watched the professional chefs compete against each other in an hour-long arena match crafting the most delicious and unique dishes with the secret ingredient provided by a flamboyant Japanese man, who clearly had a similar fashion sense to Johnny Weir. It was a fast, fun, and interesting show to watch when you had no idea how to cook. Having watched a few old episodes recently, I’d say it’s still just as fun as ever.

Of course, like all successful foreign properties, it needed to be Americanized in some way to make some money for us locally. Food Network, after becoming a much more prominent powerhouse of home television than it was in the late 1990s/early 2000s, created its own Kitchen Stadium and released Iron Chef America. Iron Chef purists out there may scream “blasphemy” at the show, but I think it’s still entertaining for its own reasons, and will gladly watch it alongside the classic Iron Chef.

All that being said, you likely know where I’m going with this. There are certain qualities of each show that are present in every episode and that can be used as drinking game rules. In fact, some of these qualities are so frequent, I didn’t feel the need to come up with a long list of rules this time.

Disclaimer: Of course, DagonDogs.com does not endorse binge drinking and asks that you drink responsibly.

Hair of the Dog - Iron Chef Drinking Game (Classic & America)

Allez cuisine!

This is a rule that applies to both Iron Chef shows. It is customary for every episode of Iron Chef to have the chairman initiate the competition with a shout of “Allez cuisine!” So customary, that the introduction video for each episode of the classic show includes it. You can choose for yourself whether you want to count that one.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever the respective Chairman of the show shouts “Allez cuisine!”

Fukui-san!

This is a rule that only applies to the classic Iron Chef show. Kenji Fukui (Fukui-san) and Shinichiro Ohta (Ohta-san) were something of an inseparable duo that was essential to the classic Iron Chef experience. Fukui-san was the primary commentator with the help of Dr. Yukio Hattori who would be chatting alongside guests and judges as the chefs cooked, while also commenting on the ingredients and their flavors. Ohta-san was the kitchen reporter who would frequently interrupt the discussion with clarifications about the details of each dish the chefs were preparing. Occasionally, he’d also provide a comment from one of the chefs about their overall plan, experience in Kitchen Stadium, etc. Ohta’s interruptions would always come with the shout “Fukui-san!” and their frequency amounts to probably the only rule you need for the classic Iron Chef.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever you hear “Fukui-san!”

Alton’s Accuracy

This is a rule that applies to Iron Chef America. Alton Brown, of Good Eats fame, has always had the reputation of being a walking food encyclopedia. His knowledge of how to prepare even the most obscure and exotic ingredients never ceases to amaze. In some ways, he’s too good at it. While the classic Iron Chef had Fukui and Ohta play off of each other’s knowledge and ability to see what the chefs were making, Alton Brown manages to be as good as the two of them combined. Still, trying to keep with tradition, Kevin Brausch acts as the current "kitchen reporter” and provides a few comments here or there, but Brown rarely requires clarification. In fact, a lot of the time he will identify the ingredients and the cooking equipment, and quickly predict the intended dish. He’s right most of the time.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever Alton Brown makes a prediction

• Take a sip of your drink whenever Alton Brown’s prediction is correct

• Finish your drink if Alton Brown’s prediction is incorrect

A Battle Well-Fought

This is a rule that applies to both Iron Chef shows. The whole premise behind Iron Chef as a concept is that the Iron Chefs are the best of the best. They’re meant to be interpreted as culinary titans who can only be beaten by a truly skilled and talented chef. Thus, it is expected that the challenging chef will not win on an average of 9 times out of 10. If you look at the actual win rate on Wikipedia, you’ll see this isn’t the case, but the point is: it’s rare for a challenging chef to win.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever the Iron Chef is declared the winner

• Finish your drink whenever the challenger is declared the winner

So there you have it. A short list of rules that I think are more than sufficient for just a couple of episodes of the exciting cooking show. Whether you’re a fan of the original, the American remake, or both, I hope you are satisfied with your viewing and drinking experience. Stay safe!